New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
