Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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