i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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