Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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