I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
