dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize