And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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