Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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