The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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