wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize