you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
