i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
