Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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