Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize