Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
