So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't deserve a penis
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
