I molested 6 butterflies tonight
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize