i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
