Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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