so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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