What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I love having hate sex.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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