U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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