We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
