He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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