New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
