If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
