So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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