remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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