Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize