Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You have to summon your inner elephant
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
