I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
