Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize