Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
