Everything about him screamed your future.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
