Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
