The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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