It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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