he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
