THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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