i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
