He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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