When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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