He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
