I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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