..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
