Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
