my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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