It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
