waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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