Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
