I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
