Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
