So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
