Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
