I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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