he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
