playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
