I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
