Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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