And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
should my penis look like a turkey
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
