I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no, he came in my armpit
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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