I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
