I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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