the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
