i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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