Dual....:-)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
