I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
