apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
