Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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