Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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