I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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