You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
