Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
