Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
