Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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