oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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