yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
