we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
