How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize