New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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